i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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