in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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