I just made out with a guy for $7.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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