You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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