I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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