I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
