a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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