they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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