One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize