i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
