if i died would you start the facebook group?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
