we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
