Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So much Jack, so little girl.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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