Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
