if i can run in heels then i can drive
I CAN MOONWALK!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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