we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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