Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
