felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
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Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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