I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize