Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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