I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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