bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
