I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize
