you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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