Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Oh god it's open bar.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
