Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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