I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
