so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
