real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
