As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
