Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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