Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think I am morally bankrupt
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
