Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize