So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
