It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
