Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
