Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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