i just wanna soil my oats bro
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
