omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize