Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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