I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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