He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
