stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
