just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
