Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
