Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
