Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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