i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So many bounce houses so little time
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I will be naked everywhere
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
