Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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