you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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