Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
