i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I AM VODKA MAN
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
