I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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