dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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