omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
