I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize