We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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