Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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