So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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