"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
