Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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