So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
