I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
