This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
