i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
