Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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